Introvert Pride

When I ask people to describe an introvert, they respond with adjectives like: Shy Antisocial Quiet  Timid While it's possible for some introverts to embody the above characteristics, it doesn't describe all of us. I'm fact, introversion has little -- if anything -- to do with a person's personality. It's more about how they're wired. Introverts draw energy from within. We're essentially powered by: Solitude Solitary pursuits Being left alone with our thoughts  That being said, we don't necessarily leave parties early or skip them altogether because we loathe people.  We do it because, after a tiring day or week, it's the only way we can recharge our batteries.  Actors/actresses like Steve Martin and Meryl Streep are confirmed introverts. Given their profession, do you think they detest interacting with people? If that were true, I'm sure they'd have quit long ago. Large crowds and noisy environments are especially draining for us -- thus the...

Introverts very often tend toward the negative -- whether in our career, our relationships, or our general outlook on life. It's a habit of which many of us are conscious, but find awfully difficult to kick, much like smoking and overeating.   Whether it's because we aren't invited to a gathering (even though part of us might be glad we're staying home instead), we receive a poor review at work for being too quiet, or an acquaintance dismisses us as snobby out of sheer ignorance, such incidents can see our self-esteem take a beating.  When you view yourself negatively, your actions may be unconsciously affected by that internal negativity, which may prevent you from attaining the happy experiences you desire. If you feel you're unworthy of a good, well-paying job or enriching relationship, you cease engaging in behaviors that would help you corral those things. You may in fact sabotage yourself by gravitating toward positions or partners who aren't good for you....

Alice Munro quipped that, "The constant happiness is curiosity." It's almost as if she were addressing introverts, among the most intellectually curious people in existence, directly. Introverts' quest for knowledge is perpetual. It will never abate.  We strive to learn something new each and every day, whether by reading books, watching documentaries, or catching the newest exhibitions at the local museum.  Introverts don't buy into the notion that learning ends the day you get your high school or college diploma. Rather, learning is a lifelong pursuit. As the prolific science fiction writer Isaac Asimov said, "Education is not something you can finish." Does this mean we all aim to go out and get a Ph.D. like Asimov did?  Of course not. We're fortunate enough to live in an age where we have myriad tools at our disposal that enable us to learn practically anything we want, whenever we want, without the need to invest in a formal degree. Asimov himse...

Life isn't easy. And if you're an introvert, it can feel especially daunting in a world that seems tailor-made for gregarious, attention-seeking individuals.  Aside from competing personal and professional demands, introverts have to contend with:  Energy levels being depleted by difficult people and situations  Constantly being questioned on our quiet, unassuming demeanor Having to be quick and on our feet when our natural dependency is to go at a slower, more measured pace  Being passed over for promotions and other opportunities because of our reluctance to promote our accomplishments  And yet, for all these challenges, being an introvert brings an array of gifts and opportunities: The capacity to listen to and understand people on a deeper level than most others  The ability to delve deeply into subjects and interests about which we're passionate  The ability to focus intently on something for long stretches of time without getting distracted ...

From an early age, I knew there was something about me -- my personality, my temperament -- that differentiated me from my peers. I just didn't know what it was. I sensed I was more retiring, less hungry for attention, and more at ease in solitude than most people.  Now that I'm an adult and comfortable in my introversion, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm proud of my uniqueness, and every introvert on this page ought to be as well.  That isn't to say the road to self-awareness has been an easy one.  Whether at school or work, I've lost count of the number of people over the years who've either questioned or criticized my quiet, unassuming disposition.  In the workplace, supervisors and co-workers have pulled no punches with their biting sarcasm, saying things like "Hey, keep it down over here. You're too loud!" For whatever reason, it makes some folks uneasy when there's someone at work who keeps to themselves. They might suspect they...

There is no question that introverts can tend toward melancholy.  Perhaps this shouldn't come as a surprise given that, because of our calm, introspective demeanor, we're frequently viewed as "inferior" to our more extroverted counterparts.  Here are a few instances where introverts can plunge into despondency: - Our self-esteem can take a hit when we don't succeed at something, whether it's landing a promotion or acing an exam  - We can feel immense pressure to change when scolded for being too quiet, especially if it leads to our not being invited to social functions or acknowledged for our efforts  - Because of our tendency to keep to ourselves, others may attach to us hurtful labels like "weirdo" or "snob" Despite our need for solitude, introverts still enjoy spending time with loved ones. We still yearn to establish a human connection, albeit in small doses.  That's why being excluded can wreak havoc on us emotionally and psycholog...

When someone deems you rude, weird, or stuck-up because of your introversion, what should you do? Bask in and double down on your introversion, of course! Don't even entertain the idea of changing to appease anyone, whether it be a friend, co-worker, or relative.  People can call you anything they wish, but you know who you are deep inside. As long as you value your introversion, that's what ultimately matters.  Most people don't comprehend what introversion is, even after ill-fated attempts to enlighten them.  In all likelihood, you've tried to explain that introversion has to do with the way we draw energy (inward, of course). Still, they carry on believing whatever they want to believe -- that we're self-centered, socially inept, and so on -- because it requires fewer mental resources. When in doubt, people would simply rather pass judgment.  No amount of explanation will get through to some of these narrow-minded folks.  They simply can't fathom an individua...

If you're an introvert , there is a good chance you've been perusing the posts on this blog for quite a while.  Maybe you're looking to validate whether you are truly an introvert, or you've already checked that off your list and are now seeking tips for breaking the news to the world. I sincerely hope, however, that you're not so much as entertaining the idea of ridding yourself of your introversion .  It's no secret that the world seems to favor extroverts, especially here in the United States. From job listings that stress "teamwork skills" to open workspaces (whether they make a furious return after the pandemic is anyone's guess), people tend to be less suspicious of gregarious, outspoken types.  Yet, you'd be surprised at just how many people want to come out of the introvert closet. Their reasons for not doing so are the subject of this post. Introverts have been stigmatized as lonely, self-absorbed, or disinterested, so it's no won...

You may recall the Me Too protests that have swept across the globe over the last few years, with hundreds (if not thousands) marching in support of victims of sexual assault and harassment.  What I often wonder is if introverts the world over will one day organize similar protests to bring awareness to their being marginalized in  society.  Surely, it's not in our nature to draw attention to ourselves in this fashion. Large crowds? Fiery speeches? Exposure on TV and social media? Sounds like an entrovert's dream.  But when it concerns a cause about which introverts are avidly passionate, we do have what it takes to come out of our shells and demand to be heard.  Introverts can, in some ways, sympathize with those the Me Too movement is attempting to give a voice to.  In fact, abuse comes in many forms, and many introverts have been subjected to harsh criticism -- if not flat-out bullying -- just for keeping to themselves and showing reluctance to participa...

Do you occasionally question whether you, as an introvert, are good enough? It can be difficult not to doubt ourselves when we have so many people doubting us.  I'm here to give you an emphatic "yes!" You are good enough. In fact, you're better than those who can't grapple with your being different than the rest of the group.  The world might try to convince you otherwise -- that you need fixing, that you're awkward, that you need to get over your supposed hatred of people.  But there's no rule that says extroverts are better, smarter, or more capable than introverts. There's no law that says extroversion is right and introversion is wrong.  Society -- and that includes everything from corporate culture to competitive events -- have shown a clear preference for those who are outwardly energetic and talkative.  It's really a shame, though, because they're missing out on all the gifts that introverts bring to the table -- from their eye for creat...

Growing up, I knew something about me was different. These are the kinds of questions that ran through my mind almost interminably: Why am I not gregarious like my peers? Why don't I seem to get as worked up about stuff? Why don't I enjoy drawing attention to myself like my friends do? Why do others give me such a hard time for being quiet and keeping to myself? If you're an introvert, I'm sure you can relate. Chances are it wasn't until you reached your teens or young adulthood (perhaps even later, as did I) that you discovered there wasn't anything wrong with you.  Society had simply conditioned you and me to believe there was because it is extroverts -- the loud, chatty folks who yearn for the spotlight -- who seem in the majority, and they harbor a healthy distrust of mild-mannered, self-contained individuals.  Take job ads you see online or in the paper. How many times have seen keywords/phrases like these peppered in said listings: Self-starter Quick on yo...

If popular opinion is any indication, the following labels are to be ascribed to introverts: Lonely Stuck-up Selfish Antisocial  Withdrawn  Isolated People hater Is this a fair, accurate representation of all introverts? The answer should an emphatic no. While some introverts may possess a couple of these characteristics, one cannot paint them with so broad a brush.  It's like saying that all cheerleaders are airheads. Or that all sports guys are jocks. These are pervasive stereotypes that need to be put to bed!  Sure, introverts might turn down invitations from time to time. If we do make it to the party, you may see us leave early. And somewhere in between, we might excuse ourselves to get some fresh air, smoke a cigarette, or make a phone call. We don't do it to be difficult, or because we're self-absorbed. It isn't that we loathe people.  It's that our battery life is finite.  Large crowds and endless chatter can leave us utterly drained. We're just not...

Many people know of introversion , but they don't have the foggiest idea who came up with the word. Don't feel bad; I didn't know myself until recently. Want to take a stab at it? Here's a hint: It was not Sigmund Freud, though that would make a logical guess. Introversion , the tendency to become preoccupied with one's own thoughts and feelings rather than external stimuli, was popularized by none other than Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst and psychiatrist who also coined the terms collective unconscious and analytical psychology. Unlike extroverts, who become energized while in the presence of large numbers of people, introverts are inward-oriented. They gain energy from reflection and lose energy in noisy social gatherings.  This in no way implies introverts are misanthropic loners, a common misconception. Misanthropes are those who, put simply, would rather stick a fork in their eye than have to deal with people. They loathe humankind with every fiber in thei...

The fact you landed on Introvert Pride, my   recently launched online hub for introverts the world over, likely means one of the following: You stumbled upon the topic of introversion at some point and want to explore it in depth, including whether you, your partner, or someone else you know fits the criteria. You've already determined you are indeed an introvert and want to learn tips for navigating what is really an extrovert-friendly world. Perhaps you're doing a project or research paper for a psychology course that calls for information on introversion .  Whatever your reasons for being here, I am delighted you've joined us! As I mentioned in my initial post, I set out to create a page where introverts  can feel valued and accepted for who they are -- where they feel no need to apologize for their mild-mannered personality, preference for gathering their thoughts before speaking, desire for solitude, or bookish tendencies.  I wish I'd had a site like this at my...

Great news: You've arrived at the newly launched home for introverts on the web -- at the start of a new year, no less! My name is Jeff. I'm a writer by trade, and I've been an introvert my entire life. That's right. Like many of you fellow introverts , I remember questioning as far back as grade school whether something was wrong with me in that I wasn't as talkative, sociable, or energetic as my peers. And the fact many of them made fun of me for my quiet, low-key demeanor certainly didn't aid my cause. But as I grew older and learned more about introversion , I came to realize I wasn't weird, antisocial, or deserving of any other labels foisted upon me. I was just different in my internal wiring.  Introspective and quiet? Check. A tendency to think through what I'm going to say before opening my mouth? Yep. A need for solitude in order to recharge my batteries following heavy social interaction? Absolutely. A deep interest in solitary pursuits, part...