Skip to main content

Introverts, stand up to your inner critic!

Woman swimming thinking

You know that negative voice inside of you that tells you you're not good enough from time to time? The one that attempts to remind you of your deficiencies while glossing over your strengths? The voice that says you ought not to take risks because you will surely fail?

We've all been there. It can be like being forced to sit through a terrible commercial or song because your remote control has ceased functioning. 

What is an introvert to do when these negative thoughts arise?

Here are some valuable strategies for keeping them in check:

1. Silence such thoughts by exclaiming "I'm not listening to you!" and instead focusing on the attributes that make you a wonderful human-being: intelligence, empathy, a hard work ethic, humility, decency, and so on.

2. Give your inner critic a name to reduce its potency ("Uh oh, here comes Greg the Grouch again"). Doing so will give the feeling of being one step ahead so that you may stop the thoughts in their tracks. 

3. Note when exactly the inner critic surfaces. Is it when you're around certain people whom you perceive as more established or better looking? Is it when you see or think about places that remind you of your childhood (e.g., high school)? Once you pin this down, you'll be better equipped to reframe those thoughts as soon as they come up. For example, you might consider that now, as a successful lawyer or advertising executive, you've come a long way since your high school days, when your parents lived paycheck to paycheck.  

Part of being human is understanding that no one is perfect. It's normal to doubt oneself from time to time (introverts can be a little too good at it), but once these thoughts become so pervasive that they're interfering with your day-to-day life, it's time to take bold action. 

Introverts are especially prone to viewing their reticent nature as a hindrance, especially when people around them criticize them mightily for it. 

But just because you're quieter and more introspective than others doesn't mean you can't achieve success. Some of the wealthiest people in the world -- Bill Gates, Larry Page, and Warren Buffet among them -- are self-admitted introverts.

If you feel that taking a public speaking class might raise your confidence, go for it. If getting tips from your extroverted cousin helps you feel more comfortable, by all means.


But you should never be made to feel like a loser or failure just because you aren't as inclined to hit up cocktail parties. 

Disable your inner critic by arming yourself with the mental fortitude to fend negative thoughts off. You've achieved great things in your life and will only continue to do so. 

But you need to believe in yourself. Let those thoughts say, "You ARE good enough. You WILL succeed. You CAN achieve whatever you set your mind to. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Introverts, find your voice -- and let it be heard!

Introverts are, by their very nature, unassuming.  The last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves, whether it be promoting our accomplishments at work in hopes of landing a promotion, talking up our best traits on a blind date, or speaking up when on the receiving end of someone's unseemly behavior. But finding our inner voice is imperative. We must never let anyone -- and that includes ourselves -- silence it. It doesn't mean you have to turn surly, treating others like they're beneath you.  But you should never let yourself become anyone's doormat either. You're your own chief advocate. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.  Never feel too embarrassed or guilty to speak honestly and respectfully in support of your goals, values, and beliefs.  I'm not saying you need to become a masterful public speaker, or that you should pretend to be a Know-It-All.  Instead, what I'm saying is never to let anyone suppress your voice. You have ...

Do introverts always want to be alone?

It's a common misconception that introverts want to be left alone all the time. Sure, we're not as prone as extroverts to becoming lonely and irritable in our own company, but that doesn't mean we avoid social interactions like the plague. We like to socialize, only in smaller doses than our more extroverted peers.  Here's how to keep us from exhausting our energy reserves: 1. Allow us small breaks to disconnect every now and then . Don't take offense to our wanting to go for a walk or take a nap. Perhaps we're drained after spending the day in drawn-out meetings.  2. A stampede of people? No, thanks.  Keep it to a small group of no more than 5 to 10 people, if possible. Introverts feel far more in their element when they can engage in one-on-one conversation. For us, more people usually translates to small talk on steroids. Needless to say, there aren't many things we loathe more than mindless chit-chat. 3. Don't block the exits. Heavy noise and commoti...

My bumpy road to discovering I am an introvert

From an early age, I knew there was something about me -- my personality, my temperament -- that differentiated me from my peers. I just didn't know what it was. I sensed I was more retiring, less hungry for attention, and more at ease in solitude than most people.  Now that I'm an adult and comfortable in my introversion, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm proud of my uniqueness, and every introvert on this page ought to be as well.  That isn't to say the road to self-awareness has been an easy one.  Whether at school or work, I've lost count of the number of people over the years who've either questioned or criticized my quiet, unassuming disposition.  In the workplace, supervisors and co-workers have pulled no punches with their biting sarcasm, saying things like "Hey, keep it down over here. You're too loud!" For whatever reason, it makes some folks uneasy when there's someone at work who keeps to themselves. They might suspect they...