Skip to main content

A sure way introverts can thrive

Introvert Pride

It isn't easy for introverts to thrive in a world that is constantly trying to get them to change --to become more outgoing, to turn more extroverted. 

Take it from me, an introvert who has heard the "you're too quiet line" more times than I can count.

Lucky for us, there are others who understand our plight because they've been there themselves. 

In order to thrive, we introverts should aim to be around people who accept us for who they are. 

But we have to accept ourselves first!

The worst thing we can do is cave in to pressure to shed our introversion just to fit in with the crowd. It is tantamount to living a lie, one that is sure to deliver no shortage of discontent over the course of our lives.

Now, it's impossible to rid ourselves of all those who take exception to our introverted ways. 

Your boss may get on your case for not being outspoken enough, but that doesn't mean you should resign the next day.

Nor should you, in one fell swoop, dump every friend or acquaintance who encourages you to be more outgoing. 

In order to succeed in life, you'll have to adapt and at least try to get along with more extroverted types -- there's no way around it given the sheer number of them in our midst. It doesn't mean you have to like or genuflect to them, but the hope is that they will come to understand and respect that your temperament is simply different than theirs. 

But once it gets to the point where you're feeling bullied -- or their endless entreaties to "loosen up" begin to wear on your mental and emotional well-being -- that's when it's time to ask yourself these questions:

  • Is my personality really suited to this job?
  • How long can I go on being around this individual?
  • Who should I seek out (e.g., HR, senior management) to try and remedy the situation?
  • Are they really my friends if they can't seem to accept who and how I am?
Imagine changing your true self at the urging of someone who ends up leaving your life tomorrow, whether because he was fired, arrested, or the two of you broke up.

It's just not worth it.

You don't need others' validation. Introversion isn't something that needs fixing. Maybe the ones who need repairing are the folks who can't seem to tolerate -- and are made insecure by -- individuals who don't shower them with attention. 

Never be ashamed to be introverted. It makes you unique, different but in a good way. 

Why would you want to be me more like your brash, unfiltered neighbor and less like your quiet, contemplative self? 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Introverts, find your voice -- and let it be heard!

Introverts are, by their very nature, unassuming.  The last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves, whether it be promoting our accomplishments at work in hopes of landing a promotion, talking up our best traits on a blind date, or speaking up when on the receiving end of someone's unseemly behavior. But finding our inner voice is imperative. We must never let anyone -- and that includes ourselves -- silence it. It doesn't mean you have to turn surly, treating others like they're beneath you.  But you should never let yourself become anyone's doormat either. You're your own chief advocate. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.  Never feel too embarrassed or guilty to speak honestly and respectfully in support of your goals, values, and beliefs.  I'm not saying you need to become a masterful public speaker, or that you should pretend to be a Know-It-All.  Instead, what I'm saying is never to let anyone suppress your voice. You have ...

Do introverts always want to be alone?

It's a common misconception that introverts want to be left alone all the time. Sure, we're not as prone as extroverts to becoming lonely and irritable in our own company, but that doesn't mean we avoid social interactions like the plague. We like to socialize, only in smaller doses than our more extroverted peers.  Here's how to keep us from exhausting our energy reserves: 1. Allow us small breaks to disconnect every now and then . Don't take offense to our wanting to go for a walk or take a nap. Perhaps we're drained after spending the day in drawn-out meetings.  2. A stampede of people? No, thanks.  Keep it to a small group of no more than 5 to 10 people, if possible. Introverts feel far more in their element when they can engage in one-on-one conversation. For us, more people usually translates to small talk on steroids. Needless to say, there aren't many things we loathe more than mindless chit-chat. 3. Don't block the exits. Heavy noise and commoti...

My bumpy road to discovering I am an introvert

From an early age, I knew there was something about me -- my personality, my temperament -- that differentiated me from my peers. I just didn't know what it was. I sensed I was more retiring, less hungry for attention, and more at ease in solitude than most people.  Now that I'm an adult and comfortable in my introversion, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm proud of my uniqueness, and every introvert on this page ought to be as well.  That isn't to say the road to self-awareness has been an easy one.  Whether at school or work, I've lost count of the number of people over the years who've either questioned or criticized my quiet, unassuming disposition.  In the workplace, supervisors and co-workers have pulled no punches with their biting sarcasm, saying things like "Hey, keep it down over here. You're too loud!" For whatever reason, it makes some folks uneasy when there's someone at work who keeps to themselves. They might suspect they...